This post was inspired by my sis honey.... Its no secret that i have been through a lot this year. People have been there for me and I'm so happy because without all the support that i received i would have self destructed. The pain is still here but at least i can talk about it.
Here are some questions that people ask me.... and i have answered them the best way i can....
How did you find out that your daughters father died?
i got a phone call from his mom telling me well screaming that Joshua got shot... in my head i just knew it wasn't good... i then got a phone call from his brother telling me he died
How did you react to the call?
when i first got the call i started to shake.... when i got the second call i threw up and i couldn't stop... i was sick to my stomach... i fell to the floor and just laid there...
What was running through your head?
everything ... the thing i thought about the most is my daughter and how she is going to suffer the most
What was your best memory with him?
July 4Th 2009 we just spent the whole day together... we had so much fun... he took me to a bar (karaoke) and sang DIFFERENCES by ginuwine to me in front of so many people
What do you miss the most?
i miss waking up to someone who truly loved me flaws and all... i miss his unconditional love for me
How are you dealing with it now, compared to that week?
I'm sad and i cry everyday but at least now i can do normal activities... i haven't gave up on myself because i have to be strong for my daughter....
If you could tell him something what would you tell him?
I would tell him that I love him with all of my heart and that i will never try and replace him... i would tell him to please guide me and his daughter for as long as we shall live and never leave our side... I would tell him that no matter the bull shit that we have been through when he was alive that my love has never changed...
Do you remember your last memory with him?
yeah and it wasn't a good one.... we had the biggest fight and he left 2 hours later i got the worst phone call a person could get... sometimes i feel like if we would have never had that argument he would have never left and he would still be alive
What words of encouragement can you tell woman going through what you have been through?
the only thing i can tell them is i know it may not seem like it but life truly does go on... and GOD takes things out of your life to make room for better....
