Monday, August 30, 2010











This post was inspired by my sis honey.... Its no secret that i have been through a lot this year. People have been there for me and I'm so happy because without all the support that i received i would have self destructed. The pain is still here but at least i can talk about it.
Here are some questions that people ask me.... and i have answered them the best way i can....

How did you find out that your daughters father died?
i got a phone call from his mom telling me well screaming that Joshua got shot... in my head i just knew it wasn't good... i then got a phone call from his brother telling me he died

How did you react to the call?
when i first got the call i started to shake.... when i got the second call i threw up and i couldn't stop... i was sick to my stomach... i fell to the floor and just laid there...

What was running through your head?
everything ... the thing i thought about the most is my daughter and how she is going to suffer the most

What was your best memory with him?
July 4Th 2009 we just spent the whole day together... we had so much fun... he took me to a bar (karaoke) and sang DIFFERENCES by ginuwine to me in front of so many people

What do you miss the most?
i miss waking up to someone who truly loved me flaws and all... i miss his unconditional love for me

How are you dealing with it now, compared to that week?
I'm sad and i cry everyday but at least now i can do normal activities... i haven't gave up on myself because i have to be strong for my daughter....

If you could tell him something what would you tell him?
I would tell him that I love him with all of my heart and that i will never try and replace him... i would tell him to please guide me and his daughter for as long as we shall live and never leave our side... I would tell him that no matter the bull shit that we have been through when he was alive that my love has never changed...

Do you remember your last memory with him?
yeah and it wasn't a good one.... we had the biggest fight and he left 2 hours later i got the worst phone call a person could get... sometimes i feel like if we would have never had that argument he would have never left and he would still be alive


What words of encouragement can you tell woman going through what you have been through?
the only thing i can tell them is i know it may not seem like it but life truly does go on... and GOD takes things out of your life to make room for better....

10 comments:

  1. Very touching and inspiring... I'm glad you did this. You are an amazing woman Tiffany and an even better mother. You seem very strong, just keep doing what you're doing and you'll be OK ;)

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  2. thats so touching, i understand how you feel i lost my father when i was a little older then your daughter now. it is tough but you do get through it. all there is to do is stay strong and keep your head up because god has great things planned.

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  3. love it boo! love it!

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  4. This was heartbreaking, I can't even imagine going through that kind of pain! This is inspiring and I'm glad you can talk about it now! Stay strong, I know you are! ^_^

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  5. ( wrote this to ur twitter but it was too long ) ____> @MzSpanishflyy I REMBR U as my myspace friend .. then i dumped myspace and went to twitter , on here i came across a familiar face ( ur page) .. i read ur blog and i saw that ur boyfriend got killed ., i am sorry for that ** this too shall pass* , hope u nd ur lil mama is doing great . i remember looking at ur pics on myspace wen u was preg.. and didnt even have the baby yet .. to posting pics of u nd ur boo .. then to hear this , i kno that i am a lil late but my condolences ** mwuah* @quakardashian

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  6. Girl that was very touchy u got me in tears wow mama I see how hurted u are and I pray that god let Josh guide u and Tiff I love yall and u are truly bless with his twin RIP Josh Young soldier u are truly miss but will never be forgotten

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  7. Wow !! God bless u for creating this blog and being opened enough to tell your stories and yr beauty secrets....u really sound like a person to look up 2 and u seem like an awesome person to be around.....GOD BLESS U!!!

    Your Gurl,
    Alexis <3

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  8. Honestly I know you don't know me and nothing I say can change the past but i feel for you deeply. I seen that you posted your blog on twitter and I decided to read it. After I read your bog I was inspired by you to make a blog and write about the passing of my sister because I didn't know any other way to deal with it and writing that blog helped me at least express how i felt about it.

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  9. Wow girl . The last pic I saw of you was on myspace. You had a baby shower and then I left myspace for a long time and I just happened to run into ya page. My deepest condolences and GOD BLESS you and your baby girl. "Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy"

    xoxo

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